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smile a bit

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17 March 2008 - 9:04am
Anonymous
This guy looks at his wife and says "Lovie, 30 years ago when we got married, we had a batchelor appartment to live in, a lumpy sofa to sleep on and a black an white TV to watch and an old car to drive, but every night I had a very hot blonde in bed with me. Now we have a wonderful house with a pool, a plasma screen, a king size bed, we have a X5, you have a Z4 and I have a GS, but every night I have this overweight middle-aged woman in bed with me. I really do not think that you are doing your part" The wife being a very fair person said "Dearest, I agree with you, why don't you go and find yourself a nice hot young blonde to have some fun with. I will do my part and make sure you get your batchelor flat, lumpy sofa, black and white TV and old car back"
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17 March 2008 - 9:46am
#1
Freakonaleash
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Joined: 2007/06/19
Brilliant, my turn......... HOW THE FIGHT STARTED I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car. . . and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny? Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . . . . . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car, looks up at me and angrily says, " I'M NOT HAPPY! " So, I look down at him and say, 'Well, then which one are you?' That's when the fight started ..................... I RIDE THEREFORE I AM!
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17 March 2008 - 12:08pm
#2
Frank
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Joined: 2008/02/29
Oh my giddy aunt! The other people in the business centre are staring at me. :-) I will have to leave before they complain to the management! Very good Frank
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17 March 2008 - 4:02pm
#3
Vernon Bosch
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Joined: 2007/10/09
A new supermarket opened near our house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay. In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal and grilled steaks with onions. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle,and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies. I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

"''At the front of every adventure is a BMW''"

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17 March 2008 - 7:52pm
#4
cookiemonster
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Joined: 2008/02/03
A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital. During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously. "Oh my GOD!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?" The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture." Oh, well in that case, I guess it's okay," said the woman. As they passed by the very next room, they saw a male patient laying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him. Again, the woman screamed,"Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified? Again the doctor spoke very calmly: "Same illness, better medical aid."
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