Joke of the day

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Eric McLaren's picture
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Joined: 2011/08/11

Warning: The content of these jokes may be offensive to some readers. They could contain sexist, political or religious innuendos. Please be advised that there may be content of an adult nature from time to time and would appreciate you seeing it for what they are... just jokes. All effort is made to keep them as clean as possible.
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‘n Blondine stap een aand in die stad. Teen ‘n lamppaal is ‘n advertensie vasgeplak wat lees ‘Woonstel Te Huur’.
“Wonderlik, ek soek juis dringend na ‘n woonstel!” dink sy en klop teen die paal, maar niemand antwoord nie. So klop sy ‘n paar keer aan die paal.
‘n Bloubul ondersteuner aan die oorkant van die pad hou haar al ‘n geruime tyd dop en besluit om te gaan ondersoek instel.
Die blondine vertel hom toe wat aangaan.
Die bloubul ondersteuner kyk na haar en toe na die paal en sê: “Dit kan nie wees nie. Die lig brand, so daar moet iemand tuis wees!”.

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A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.’

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, ‘WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don’t sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God’s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus..Hallelujah!

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: “Looking back on it, . . . circumcision may not have been the best way to start.

Committee: Off Road Captain