Joke of the day
- Tetanus Shot!!
This is for you old folks, anyone over (or close to) 50 is eligible!
An old man in his mid-seventies struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat.
His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, Where are you going?’
He replies, ‘I’m going to the doctor.’
She says, ‘Why, are you sick?’
He says, ‘Nope, I’m going to get me some of that Viagra stuff.’
Immediately his wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat.
He says, ‘Where the heck are you going?’
She answers, ‘I’m going to the doctor, too.’
He says, ‘Why, what do you need?’
She says, ‘If you’re going to start using that rusty old thing, I’m getting a Tetanus shot.’
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Husband Down
A husband and wife are shopping in their local grocery store.
The husband picks up a case of Castle Lager and puts it in their trolley.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the wife.
‘They’re on sale, only R60 for 24 cans he replies.
‘Put them back, we can’t afford them’ demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a R120 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the husband.
‘Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,’ replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: ‘So does 24 cans of Castle and it’s half the price.’
He never knew what hit him.
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Why We Love Children
A nursery school pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.
‘How do you know that the cat was dead?’ she asked her pupil.
‘Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,’ answered the child innocently.
‘You did WHAT?’ the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
‘You know,’ explained the boy, ‘I leaned over and went ‘Pssst’ and it didn’t move’
•••••••••••••••••••••••
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, ‘Mummy, you are getting fat!’
I replied, ‘Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.’
‘I know,’ she replied, but what’s growing in your bum?’
•••••••••••••••••••••••
A little girl asked her mother, ‘Can I go outside and play with the boys?’
Her mother replied, ‘No, you can’t play with the boys, they’re too rough.’
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?’
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