Archive of BMW Motorrad Club Cape (2006 - 2019)

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he’s walking with a limp.
“What happened to you?” asks Sean, the bartender.
“Jamie O’Conner and me had a fight,” says Paddy.
“That little shit, O’Conner,” says Sean, “He couldn’t do that to you, he must have had something in his hand.”
“That he did,” says Paddy, “a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin’ he gave me with it.”
“ Well,” says Sean, “you should have defended yourself, didn’t you have something in your hand?”
“That I did,” said Paddy.
“Mrs. O’Conner’s breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight.”

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Football and the Blonde

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents!”

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was . . .
‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’

I’m like . . .  Helloooooo?

It’s only 25 cents

Duh . . .

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A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole, all live together in a little mole hole.

One day, papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and said,
‘ Yummy! I smell maple syrup!’

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and said,
‘Oh, Yummy! I smell honey!’

Now baby mole is trying to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can’t because the bigger moles are in the way.

This makes him whine, ‘Geez, all I can smell is . . .

 MOLASSES !