Archive of BMW Motorrad Club Cape (2006 - 2019)

‘Doctor, it’s me ahrse. I’d like ya ta teyk a look, if ya woot’.

So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look.

‘Incredible’, he says, ‘there is a £20 note lodged up here.’

Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man’s bottom, and then a £10 note appears.

‘This is amazing!’ exclaims the Doctor. ‘’What do you want me to do?’
 
‘Well fur gadness sake teyk it out, man!’ shrieks the patient.

The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and another and another and another, etc ...

Finally the last bill comes out and no more appear.

‘Ah Doctor, tank ya koindly, dat’s moch batter. Just out of interest, how moch was in dare den?’

The Doctor counts the pile of cash and says ‘£1,990 exactly.’

‘Ah, dat’d be roit,’’ says the Irishman

‘I knew I wasn’t feeling two grand.’

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A YORKSHIRE LOVE STORY

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death,he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite scones wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength,and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame,gazing into the kitchen.

Were it not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favourite scones.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Yorkshire wife of sixty years,seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in crumpled posture. His aged and withered hand trembled towards a scone at the edge of the table,when it was suddenly smacked by his wife with a wooden spoon . . .

‘Bugger off’ she said, ‘they’re for the funeral’.